Honey If You Love Me: Rules for the No-Smiling Circle Game
“Honey, if you love me” is a simple circle game about keeping a straight face. One player walks up to someone in the circle and asks, “Honey, if you love me, won’t you please give me a smile?” The other player has to answer, “Honey, I love you, but I just can’t smile,” without smiling or laughing. It sounds easy, but with silly voices and funny faces, most people crack within a few tries. It is popular at camps, youth groups and sleepovers, and needs nothing but a group of people.
What you need
- About 6 to 20 players.
- Room to sit or stand in a circle, with space for one player to walk around inside it.
- A fair way to choose the first player in the middle, such as the random name picker.
How to play
- Everyone sits in a circle. One player is chosen to be “it” and stands in the middle.
- “It” walks up to any player and says, “Honey, if you love me, won’t you please give me a smile?” They can use a funny voice, a dramatic pose or a silly face, but they may not touch the other player.
- The chosen player must look at “it” and reply, “Honey, I love you, but I just can’t smile,” with a completely straight face.
- If they smile or laugh at any point, they become the new “it”, and the old “it” takes their place in the circle.
- If they keep a straight face, “it” must move on and try another player.
Groups often add small rules of their own. Some let “it” try the same player twice in a row, and some do not. In some groups, a player who smiles joins “it” in the middle, so the game gets sillier as it goes on, until only one straight-faced player is left. Agree on the version before you start.
A fair random first player
Who goes in the middle first? Let the random name picker pick at random, or use a phone version of spin the bottle to point at someone. After that, the game chooses for itself: whoever smiles is next. If one shy player gets stuck in the middle for a long time, let them choose a helper or pick a new “it” at random.
How many tries until someone smiles?
How long can you hold out? It depends on how good “it” is at being silly. The table is a simple estimate that assumes each attempt has the same chance of making the player smile. “Smile” is the chance that one attempt works, “Avg” is the average number of attempts before someone smiles, and “3 ok” is the chance that a player survives three attempts in a row.
| Smile | Avg | 3 ok |
|---|---|---|
| 20% | 5 | 51% |
| 30% | 3.3 | 34% |
| 50% | 2 | 12% |
| 70% | 1.4 | 3% |
So if “it” makes people smile about half the time, they need about two tries on average, and a player has about a one in eight chance of lasting three tries. In real games, people get better at holding a straight face as they warm up, and some players are much harder to crack than others, so treat these numbers as a rough guide.
Tips for leaders
- Make “no touching” a clear rule. Funny faces and voices only.
- Keep the questions kind. The aim is to make people laugh, not to embarrass them.
- If someone does not want a turn in the middle, let them pass.
- For a big group, play with two players as “it” at the same time.
- Stop while everyone is still laughing, after about ten minutes.
Variations
- Other words: “Baby, if you love me…” or a line about a pet, a food or a teacher’s name.
- Silent version: “it” may not speak, and must make the player smile with faces only.
- Team version: two teams take turns sending a player to try to make the other team smile; each smile is a point.
- Animal voices: “it” must use a different animal voice for each attempt.
- Last straight face: everyone who smiles joins the middle, and the last player who has not smiled wins.
For more circle games that need no equipment, try wink murder, zip zap zop or fruit salad.
FAQ
How do you play honey if you love me?
Players sit in a circle. The player in the middle asks someone, “Honey, if you love me, won’t you please give me a smile?” That player must reply, “Honey, I love you, but I just can’t smile,” without smiling. If they smile, they go in the middle.
What do you say in honey if you love me?
The asker says, “Honey, if you love me, won’t you please give me a smile?” and the answer is “Honey, I love you, but I just can’t smile.” Wording varies a little between groups.
Can you touch the other player?
No. The player in the middle may use funny voices and faces, but no touching.
How many people do you need?
About six or more. It works well with groups of up to about 20.
Who goes first?
Pick the first player at random with a name picker. After that, whoever smiles goes next.